Sunday, 14 January 2018

Sunday...


Sunday morning;
I put my small hand into a jar and pick out a task,
my soft skin touches dark wood,
warm carpet, and everything smell of my mother
and her refusal of help in the kitchen.
We sit at the table, we all have room for pudding,
we gather again in the evening.

Sunday morning;
I make an effort, wrote a list ahead of time
so I cannot ignore the care I need.
Early dawning, no tears in the morning,
feelings cold as ice cream, but still as sweet;
walk to the gardens, eat fruit,
paint nails, face-mask, sleep.
There’s always someone around you,
pointing out soft blues that are natural and true,
everything is calmer now.

Sunday morning;
I don’t set an alarm, assured I will always wake first,
always in time to roll over,
close my eyes again so we can pretend to open them in sync.
10am, 11am, stay still, still soft,
oh to be in love on a Sunday,
oh to walk hand in hand with no deadline,
oh to feel just the same on Monday.

Sunday girl on a Sunday morning,
my mother, my lover, 
me.
Loved, cared for and comforted,
learning to feel everything like I feel on Sunday,
learning to expect no less than Sunday morning, dinner table, evening talks love.

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Sundays have always been a special day for me. I was born on a Sunday, and in my family, Sunday is a day of tidying up, reorganising and gathering yourself up to prepare for a new week. Each Sunday we would tidy the house then have a proper Sunday roast, and that's my favourite tradition. Since moving to University I've tried my hardest to keep a small part of that tradition going, I try to keep my Sundays free of work, I keep them as a day to look after myself, do small acts of self-care like paint my nails and treat my skin, it's always a day I treasure with friends and my boyfriend. And at some of the harder times, Sundays are a goal, just get through to Sunday and take the offering of the new week as a new start, fresh and free.

Sunday also reminds me of two of my favourite songs; Sunday Girl by Blondie, and Sunday Morning by The Velvet Underground. Sunday Girl is my burlesque stage name, something that makes me feel really confident and empowered,and has introduced me to an amazing group of women.

Sunday also featured heavily in my book Chrysalism. I recently talked about my relationship with some of the poems in my book, one of which being All Week Sundays, which were 'love' poems written about a relationship and a situation that in actuality was extremely toxic. I always loved the line in that poems; 'Learning to feel everything like I feel on Sunday', but I deserve to feel better than how I felt on Sundays spent within that relationship, when I felt small or not good enough. I deserve to feel how I feel on Sundays with my family, on Sundays I spend purposefully looking after myself, on Sundays I spend getting breakfast with friends, or on a walk with my boyfriend who loves and respects me and admires me like no one else ever has. 

I got this tattoo, in the font used in my book, to remind myself of all these things. Of my family, of my favourite songs, of my friends and loved ones, of myself and the self-care I practice and the kind of love I deserve, and of all the things I treasure and everything that makes me feel confident. Self-care and self-love can be as simple as having a day to remind you of the love you have in your life, and the type of love you deserve, both of which are honest and kind and make you feel like the best version of yourself. And that's how I feel on a Sunday, and how I deserve to feel all the time.

Thursday, 4 January 2018

Fashion & Film #12 ~ When Harry Met Sally...


Similar to Annie Hall and Pretty Woman, When Harry Met Sally is a hot bed of 80s fashion that no doubt you turned your nose up at the first time you watched it, but now you're reconsidering your judgement. I'm obsessed, but it's not just me, ManRepeller recently fangirled over the films dreamy fall fashion prompting me to rewatch the heartwarming classic pronto.

Sally, played by Meg Ryan, has got the masculine/feminine tailored look down to a T. When we're first introduced to her she's serving a look of bermuda shorts and matching navy cardigan and knee high socks; it shouldn't work but somehow it's making me want to copy? As the film passes through time Sally goes through all the trends; shoulder-pad power suits, high neck jumpers, tailored trousers, off the shoulder dressed and mom jeans. Everything she wears I could find in my wardrobe, proving that style never dies and trends are nothing but cyclical.

But it's not just the ladies. Harry styles knitted jumpers, jeans and fresh trainers just like 90% of my uni population. Throughout the film, his style managing to become less dad and more 90s, leaving behind the cord and becoming more inspo worthy as he sorts his damn priorities out.



I also wanna give a shoutout to the extra seen in the background of the baseball scene, wearing black joggers, black sweatshirt but fresh white trainers. I've been wearing this look nope stop, swapping the sportswear for cigarette trousers but keeping the same monochrome.

Maybe the characters outfits may take it a smidge too far, but you can't deny the influence haunting us still into 2018, and I for one am inspired to purchase a girlboss, 80s power blazer.

Saturday, 30 December 2017

In 2018 I Will...



I've spoken a lot on social media about my 2017 and it's severe highs and lows. The conclusion drawn as the earth spins round to where it started is that 2017 was without a doubt the hardest year of my life with challenges I never thought I'd face. But more importantly 2017 was the most productive year of my life (so far) and proved to me that I am more driven, passionate, resilient and strong than I ever knew. The theme of 2017 was overcoming, and so the theme of 2018 will be growing and thriving like never before.
So this year I've decided to focus only on what's ahead, and write dos instead of don'ts. Here are my 2018 aims.

In 2018 I will...

1) Work to treat and talk to myself as I would to others.

2) Stay focused on uni and projects, tackle lack of motivation but also allow myself rest.

3) Practise balance in every aspect of my life.

4) Release another book.

5) Learn a new skill, totally separate from writing.

6) Do more, go out more, see friends more.

7) Be carefree and caring, refuse to care anymore about things that are gone and done.

8) Try to be more patient and logical towards my mental health.

9) Cook more and expand my meal repertoire.

10) Put more effort in with people I love and who love me, remember that small things are significant.

11) Work to become less frightened to verbally speak what I'm feeling to people.

12) Try to spend less than 2 hours a day on social media, and stop myself when ever I notice myself mindlessly scrolling.

13) Read more books and buy more magazines.

14) Be better with money. This one isn't optional.

15) Actively seek new friends, new chances and new hobbies.

16) Work to let go of worries and comparisons that don't motivate me and aren't healthy.

17) Only carry lessons from the past year, not negative feelings or labels.

18) Explore more. Someone please get me on holiday.

19) Celebrate my own achievements.

20) Make myself happy, and make others happy.

My mantra for the year will be-

'Don't call yourself names you would never taint another with. Don't treat yourself in ways you would never dream of treating another.'

Here's to the new year x

Sunday, 24 December 2017

Baileys Fudge Brownie Recipe...

Just in time for Christmas, here's a suitably indulgent, boozy and festive recipe to knock up quickly and easily to impress any and all guests. 3 words; Baileys, fudge, brownie.





You will need...
For the brownie:
168g of unsalted butter
207g of caster sugar
1tsp of vanilla extract
3 tbsp of Baileys, or any other kind of Irish cream
2 eggs
98g of plain flour
43g of cocoa
1/4 tsp of baking powder
A pinch of salt

For the fudge:
120g/120ml of sweetened condensed milk
312g of chocolate - either chocolate chips or baking chocolate will melt best
5 tbsp of Baileys
1/2 tsp of vanilla extract

What to do...
1) Preheat the oven to 176 degrees, and prep a 9x9 baking pan (or a size as close to that as you have)

2) Melt the butter and combine the butter, sugar, vanilla and Baileys in a bowl. Add the eggs and mix.

3) In a separate bowl combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt. Then add to the wet mixture and mix until combined.

4) Pour the batter into the pan, spread as even as possible and bake for 20 minutes.

5) When the brownie is done and cooled, get to work on the fudge by mixing the condensed milk, chocolate, baileys and vanilla in a glass or metal bowl.

6) Put the bowl over simmering water and mix until everything is melted and smooth.

7) Spread this over the brownie and pop it in the fridge or a cool place to set for 4 hours if you can bear being that patient.

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Perfect to soothe your sweet tooth with some mulled wine and a Christmas movie.

Have an incredible Christmas however you celebrate, mwah

Saturday, 23 December 2017

My Sale Picks For NYE...

The festive season is upon us with Christmas and New Years leaning over our shoulders. Personally, I can't really think of anything worse than going shopping right now or at all for the next week, and luckily I don't have to and neither do you. Sales are no longer a thing for boxing day, you can get a head start online the second you get your Christmas money and have everything on your doorstep in time for the parties. Here are my top NYE picks from the sales so far.

Velvet top - HERE
Trousers - HERE
Sequin top - HERE

The 50% off Urban Outfitters sale is a dream land of velvet, glitter, metallic and all things luxe. For NYE I'm looking towards piece that can be dressed up or down to work for whatever I get up to on the night. I love these gold culottes, and paired with a sheer top or a body and heels or trainers depending on the venue, they'd be perfect to boogie into the new year in. Also this sequin bandeau is 10/10, gives me primary school party vibes and I adore it.

Sale is also looking good for casual attire with tons of the classic Urban Outfitters streetwear pieces up for grabs.

Boots - HERE
Pinafore - HERE
Feather crop top - HERE
Vinyl trousers - HERE
Honestly I don't know if I've ever wanted anything more than I want these sock boots? Who cares if they're not the ideal footwear for a club, they're incredible and I want them superglued to my legs immediately.

Now that is out of the day, Topshop is killing it with their star print at the moment and I've got my eye on this denim star print pinafore which would be so easy to dress up for the night and then integrate seamlessly into your casual wardrobe for the rest of the year. Same with any kind of leather or vinyl trousers, an item that I've recently been converted by. Surprisingly comfy and simply to style, and look just as good with your going out tops as they do with your chunky knits.

Red mesh top - HERE
Red jumpsuit - HERE
Black lace body - HERE
Nobody's Child is totally underrated but is a holy grail of amazing tops, jumpsuits and trousers of all colours and patterns. I'm a huge fan of their tie front tops and can't recommend them enough, such good value and ridiculously flattering. My sale picks include a lot of red, I look how vibrant this mesh top is, and the red jumpsuit and sock combo is beautiful. Items are only like £9, so an easy steal for a new-year-new-me worthy get up.

Tis the season to treat yo self.